Christmas Function (And Clive’s Awards) A Great Success!

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Good Evening SSBB’ers!

As I am sure you are aware, this week saw our Christmas function. Approximately 40 people turned up, which was a great turnout. They enjoyed our free mince pies and discussed all things SSBB. We also held a raffle and Andy has also started a longer term “Name the Bike” fund raising raffle. If you are interested in naming our blood bike, please get in touch!

During the evening, our bike manager Clive, who performs all of the rider observations,  held an impromptu awards ceremony for those who had excelled in some way during their assessment/observation rides.  Here is the list of those “Lucky” winners in Clive’s very own words!!!

The first awards ceremony, which I had been planning and I think caught a few people by surprise, went as follows. It was not aimed at who was best etc, but whoever made or did something that caught my attention:

1. The “Haven’t you got any friends” award went to Andy Wilson, for regularly attending runs, wanting to meet people, then forgetting to turn up when reminded six hours earlier!

2. The “Bad time to mention it” award went to Duncan Baker, who after overtaking on some solid white lines…which to be fair weren’t the easiest to see in the weather we were out in, at the debrief, promptly informed me, that he was attending the opticians later that day!

3. The “lamest excuse” award went to Kevin Jones. It is nice after all these years in the Police and beyond of hearing every excuse to hear a new one, but his excuse for lack of shoulder checks and rear observations, was because his peripheral vision was exceptionally good because he did Karate….Boll*&ks unless you are a frog!

4. “Oblivious to all” award went to Sandy Harper for not doing any rear observations for at least three miles, after the rest of us had stopped, and had absolutely no idea we weren’t there!

5. “Jeez that was quick” award, for the sheer pace of cornering and the fear instilled in the “assessor” goes to Scott-the Redding-Walker.

6.  The “Terry Wogan School of Motoring” award is based on the fact, that Terry Wogan was the slowest person around the Top Gear course. The winner, who was certainly safe, although sedate, worries me, that if he ever had to take a batch of frozen breast milk, there is a good chance it would be thawed and turned to yoghurt by the time he got there,  is….Chris Powdrill.

Finally, no award but mentioned in dispatches during the ceremony. I have bought fluorescent jackets in size 5XL. They fit over all of our padded armoured bike kit with no problems. Except one person, who had to stretch the jacket to get over his normal clothes. So the “Fat  B%sta*d” nomination, goes to the Welsh git…Bob Roberts, and that’ll teach him to send me a sarcastic email!


We would like to thank Clive for his impromptu ice breaker and have it on good authority he is already planning for next year’s awards!! 

Finally, thank you to all those who came and made the evening a very productive and forward thinking session. We hope to implement many of the ideas raised and will of course keep you all informed as and when these updates take place!

Christmas Function 2   Christmas Function 1

Christmas Function 3   Christmas Function 4


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